Leading Lady

Oh! That director! He wouldn't know a real lady if she slapped him across the face. Which, mind you, he deserves. My Alabama accent is nothing if it isn't right on the mark. 6 weeks of elocution lessons! And don't get me started on the leading man. Who does he think he is coming onto the set drunk as a skunk each morning? We're professionals! If he doesn't watch it, he'll get kicked out on the street. I don't care how many films he's been in.
Will someone please get me another club soda with a twist?